


Ducks Fly Together

by Petr1fi3d



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-05-24 12:30:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14954738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petr1fi3d/pseuds/Petr1fi3d
Summary: some music, a small town, and hopefully a reason to get out of bed.In which Yugi is made to stay with his Grandfather to recover.





	1. Chapter 1

“Everybody knows where you go when the sun goes down. I think you only live to see the light of town. I wasted my time when I would try, try, try. Cause when the lights have lost their glow you’ll cry, cry, cry.”

Yugi patted his thigh softly with the rhythm that flowed through the white buds fit snugly in his ears. He attempted to lose himself while he was squished up against the wall of the bus by a rather large gentleman who smelt too much of coffee. 

It was an old school bus, brought out in an emergency when the coach Yugi was supposed to travel on unexpectedly broke down. The continual grumbles and exasperated sighs of his fellow travelers had just died down to a mutter only after an hour since the exchange. Yugi of course was not impressed either, considering he was already in a sour mood. He hadn’t wanted to take the trip in the first place but it was his only option of travel since he still hadn’t learnt to drive (embarrassing) and his mother was incapable (tragic).

He tried not to think too much of the cracked vinyl, which was suspiciously sticky, and trained his eyes to the window to avoid reading a tasteful advert for sex crudely written across the back of the seat in front of him. 

At last the town of Domino was in view. Yugi turned his iPod in his hands and kept his eyes fixed on the passing fields lined with sugarcane. He remembered his mother telling him how you could chew on the flesh to suck out the sweetness. His mouth watered at the thought.

As the bus pulled up at transit bay, Yugi pressed his forehead against the glass trying to spot his Grandpa. The vibration from the motor made his teeth chatter and it felt his brain was shaking. Starting to feel quite sick, he sat back in his chair and tried to make himself especially small as the man beside him began rustling up his belongings. His thumb wound around the control on his iPod to turn the volume way up and waited for each passenger to exit the bus, all seeming very eager to escape. A nod from his seat companion and finally he was the last remaining. Gathering up his old, fraying black backpack he hopped down the stairs. 

A muffle of his name filtered through. Not seeing the source, Yugi proceeded to collect his case from the driver who was unloading everyone’s baggage. 

Yugi jumped out of his skin when he felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder. He swung around removing the white bud in his ear that was now playing “Hey Porter!” and raised his brows in surprise.

“Ah,” Yugi smile in quiet relief, “Grampa”.

A hearty chuckle erupted from the old man. “Yugi, my boy. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah it has - ugk,” 

Solomon clapped Yugi on the back. Hard. 

“Come along, Yugi. Car’s around the corner.”

Yugi pursed his lips and promptly shoved his earphone back in to catch the last notes of “One Piece at a Time.”

Solomon had lived in Domino for the last thirty years of his life. It was a small beach town with flat roads and surrounding bush. The last time he was down this way was Christmas three years ago. Yugi hoped there wouldn’t be as many people around as there were back then. Domino was a bit of a hot spot come summer.

His Grandfather's ute smelt salty and he had to rest his feet on top of what he assumed was a tackle box. He noted the tan in his Grandpas skin and how his knuckles were worn and cracking. The lines from his eyes were deeper than he remembered and his hair almost completely grey. A sadness danced through his body and Yugi shifted uncomfortably.

They pulled up in front of a small supermarket along the only street in town with a line of shops.    
Solomon told Yugi he would just be a moment before letting himself out.

Yugi inspected the few shops he could see being a fish and chips, a tavern, a small café, a variety store, a hair salon and a video rental. His mind began turning like gears.

“I gotta figure this out”

Slumping right down in his seat, Yugi fiddled with his iPod pressing shuffle over and over.

In a low whisper Yugi prayed, “Come on”

Deciding to settle on a soft instrumental he turned the volume up and shut his eyes.

It wasn’t long before Solomon returned and all but threw the two shopping bags he was holding onto Yugi’s lap. Yugi jolted in his seat and blinked wide eyed at his Grandpa.

“Going to sleep there are you, Yugi?” Solomon asked, the least bit sympathetic.

The fatigue from travelling for six hours on a bus had indeed caught up with him as he felt the tired burning behind his eyes. 

“Yeah I guess. Long trip.” Yugi sighed, “and thanks for that,” gesturing to the bags he had now moved into a more comfortable position.

“Did you feel like dinner?” Solomon asked as he started the engine back up. “I was going to cook something but if you’re too tired I could just get some takeaway.”

“I don’t really care.”

Solomon clicked his tongue as he looked over his grandson with one hand on the wheel. With a sigh he shifted in his seat to lean out slightly from his window before he reversed out.

The town was quiet with little to no traffic on the roads and Yugi could hear the sound of cicadas calling out from the night. And just as he thought of a rather fitting song, the rumble of the ute beneath all but lulled him to sleep.

It was late morning and Yugi woke with the intention of staying in bed for as long as possible but could no longer stand the mugginess of his room. He kicked off his baby blue sheet which smelt a little musty, and pushed himself up, listening for any sound of his Grandpa.

The house was quiet so he decided to make his way out into the small hall that led to the kitchen. Grains of sand stuck to the soles of his feet, a texture he knew he would have to get used to, as he moved across the tiles.

“Grandpa?” Yugi asked carefully as he came to the kitchen.

No one. Yugi felt relieved.

The fridge was humming loudly in the corner and Yugi considered having a look inside but instead turned to go back to his room. 

He knew it wasn’t his Grandpas fault that he was here but he couldn’t help but have a bitter taste in his mouth. When he got back to his room Yugi noticed a set of keys with a small note. Solomon had left his car for Yugi to use for the day. In the note he teased Yugi not to go too far and not to worry, he carpooled to the harbour.

Yugi threw the keys onto the bed.

“Must he rub salt in my wounds?”

It felt a like a wallowing kind of day. Find a nice spot on the floor and stare at the ceiling until you were sure you had become one with the vinyl sticking to your bare back. A bit of Johnny Cash, a bit of self loathing.

And so Yugi wallowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been following the fandom for years now and have always wanted to contribute. So here we go. Apologies for error - it’s my first proper story I am attempting.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the intro!
> 
> Songs for the road:  
> “Cry, Cry, Cry” Johnny Cash  
> “One Piece at a time” Johnny Cash


	2. Chapter 2

Screaming seagulls attacked the remains of a leftover lunch in a war of feathers. Yugi kept his distance as he located an empty picnic table to settle into. 

It was hot and he was sweaty. The sweet sea breeze was barely making up for the fact. After walking in circles aimlessly for hours, the temptation of a dip in the cool water was itching but a glimpse at his jeans extinguished any consideration.

The pelicans looked like they were having fun though, as well as the group of kids he could see trudging through the shallow water toward an island of sand.

The smell of hot chips from the kiosk behind him wafted through the air reminding Yugi that he hadn’t eaten. He just had no idea what to buy. 

He remembered when he was younger his Grandpa used to bring him here for ice-cream. The kiosk had a whole counter dedicated to every lolly you could think of and too many ice cream flavours to recall. Solomon had a massive sweet tooth and used every excuse to treat himself, such as using his Grandson for an ice-cream run. Yugi loved those times. How easy it was.

Burying his head in his hands Yugi yearned for home. 

He hadn’t heard his mother and he didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. But right now, anything would do.

Yugi turned on his ipod and put in his earphones, deciding to continue on his walk to distract himself from the emitting aromas. Feeling exceptionally miserable, Nina Simone was not helping matters as she sang softly in his ear.

A coffee might be nice. The cafe up the road was in view so Yugi headed that way.

It was a small cafe, much like its town, and in some ways tacky with a blue and white interior, photos of ships and boats, and frangipanis. In the cabinet below the counter were plastic wrapped cakes and slices and some premade sandwiches. 

He ordered a soy cappuccino and sat at a table in the corner by the window. A plastic seagull stood on the edge looking at him. Yugi slowly turned the bird around. 

Taking a few sips, Yugi appreciated the warmth filling his belly and calming its rumble. He thinks he can last until dinner. Who knows what Solomon had planned. 

Suddenly a familiar mop of blonde hair bounced passed the window outside. Yugi jolted in his seat and sunk as far down as possible. Taking in short shallow breaths, Yugi begged he wouldn’t be noticed.

“Oh god, please no”

He pushed pause.

The boy passed the cafe without a look inside.

“Shit,” Yugi thought. “what was Joseph Wheeler doing in Domino”

He hadn’t seen him since high school graduation at which point Joey spilt his entire cup of cordial all over his blazer forcing him to borrow one. It was much too big and looked like he was drowning in fabric. Needless to say he was extremely embarrassed.

Peeking out the window he watched as Joseph continued down the street. He looked like he was on his phone, barking away happily.

Yugi moaned in detest as he spooned out the chocolate dusted froth in his drink. He decided to take his time with his coffee and just people watch in case some other friendly face made an appearance.

The influx of tourists had just begun now that the holidays were on their way. Camper vans, cars loaded with tents, screaming children. How excellent.

The main camping grounds were by the kiosk. Right along the spit. It was always a battle ground to find a good spot. Yugi supposed he was lucky to have a home to stay in if he was remotely interested in being in Domino in the first place.

Yugi spotted a few dogs arriving in cars and his eyes softened. His Achilles heel.

He ended up staying in the cafe until they began to pack up. He thanked the young girl who had served him. She looked to still be in high school and had hair that could have reached her hips if she let it out.

Yugi felt paranoid. Scared he’d see Joseph again. Or worse, that Joseph would see him. He kept his eyes down as he walked briskly along the footpath. He took out a pair of old aviator sunglasses he’s had since he was fifteen and fitted them high on nose. Joseph didn’t seem to be around and he relaxed his shoulders.

“Better go back to Grandpas”

The house was about a 20 minute walk from the main part of Domino over which time Yugi tried to keep motivation by blasting The Clash in his ears.

The driveway wasn’t paved but instead just stones and dirt and Yugi hated walking over it. He cringed with each step for his favourite white sneakers.

Solomon must have been able to hear the crunching footsteps because the screen door flung open and bashed against the side of the house.

“There you are. Have you been wandering about all day?”

Yugi shrugged, “yeah just checking everything out. You know.”

“It’s 5:00”

He really had been out all day.

“A lot to see” Yugi said.

Solomon quirked a smile and hurried Yugi into his Ute.

“Well I’m starving. Let’s go and get some tea” he said. “And yes it’s early. I’m an old man, Yugi”

Yugi chuckled as he rested his feet back on top of the tackle box on the floor.

“I should really move that for you.”

“Nah it’s okay, Grandpa” Yugi said. “So, uh. What’s for dinner?”

“Fish and chips sound good? You can’t bet the co-op. Nothing fresher”

“Yeah sounds good”

Yugi picked at the tear in his jeans as they drove. This is okay. He can deal with this.

He snapped a fine piece of elastic and cursed.

They traveled over a short  bridge that Yugi hadn’t ventured to. It stretched over a river extending from the harbour where a Yugi could see many boats tied down to. 

Up ahead was a hill that lead to the lighthouse and many beautiful homes. Yugi was taken by one particular house he could make out in the distance. All timber and resembling a chapel. 

Solomon pulled into a small parking area next to the harbour before they could reach what Yugi could assume was the wealthy estate of Domino.

There were surrounded by pine trees and their seeds littered the ground. It was more relaxed on this side of town. The boats rocked with ripples of the water and Yugi wondered which was his Grandpas. 

Hopping out of the car Yugi begin to trudge toward the only shop in the area. A little shack that wasn’t much bigger than a garden shed. When he realised he wasn’t being followed, Yugi turned around.

“Uh, Grandpa?” 

He walked back.

“Could you get it, Yugi? I’ll just wait here.” Solomon passed him a 50. “Just get whatever you want. I’ll eat anything”

“Sure”

Yugi stopped short of the window that was open acting as a counter to place your order. He read over the menu board and tried to think of what his Grandpa would like.

A voice came from the window. “Hey”

“Hi, uh, sorry I’m still just deciding.” The words were beginning to blur.

“You’ve been staring at that thing for at least 10 minutes.” 

Yugi thought that was quite rude and turned to the worker.

“It’s hard to read something that looks like a toddlers handwriting”

The boy boasted a stupid smile with his red eyes flashing in amusement.

“You’re Yugi, right?” He asked. “And I didn’t write that.”

Yugi screwed up his face.

“Hey now,” he said. “I just know your Grandfather. Solomon.”

“Oh.”

He must of spoke of him. Yugi felt a little flustered at the thought.

“I’m Atem” he said.

“Okay”

“...What’s the trouble anyway?”

“Dunno what to get” Yugi mumbled.

“Well,” Atem suddenly leant out the window on his stomach and pointed to the board. “Why not just get catch of the day and like, a two serves of chips. Easy. Done. Simple”

Yugi tried to imagine him selling in a department store.

“Okay, but uh, could I get one piece of the fish grilled?”

“Sure”

Yugi paid and sat down on a milk crate while he waited. Head in hand he watched the hypnotic sway of the water. The smell of cooking fish and frying chips was inviting and reminded him of earlier in the day. He was glad he held out.

Solomon looked like he was asleep from what Yugi could see and he tried to imagine what he had done that day. Fishing probably.

Atem appeared in front of him holding two steaming hot paper bags.

Yugi stood and took his order from the other.

“Thanks”

“No problem”

“Is his face stuck that way or something” Yugi thought feeling disturbed by the others smile.

“Say hi to Solomon for me” Atem said before heading back inside. “Maybe I’ll see your around, huh?”

After waking Solomon up with a hard pat on the shoulder they drove home, the bags almost burning through Yugi’s jeans.

Yugi was being side eyed and he just knew the other wanted him to ask about Atem. He resisted in revenge for his Grandpas earlier attempt at humour by leaving that note and keys.

They ate with small conversation, food on chipped plates, cutlery as old as him, seated at an aging timber table with chairs that creaked with every readjustment.

And Yugi cleared his plate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Songs for the road:  
> “Stars” Nina Simone  
> “Should I stay or should I go” The Clash


	3. Chapter 3

Yugi sat in the sand and idly swept the soft white grains over his bare legs. The sun beamed down on top of his head and he felt the heat radiate through his skin. He looked ghostly with the copious amount of sunscreen he coated himself in and felt rather pathetic wearing a long sleeve rash shirt.

The beach was a change in routine. Solomon has insisted he go, that it would refreshing. Rather than his usual walk, Yugi didn’t mind the new scenery although he was initially reluctant. He supposed it was silly to have not gone to the beach properly in the couple of weeks he had been with his Grandpa, but it just felt like too much of a treat.

Next to him was his bag packed with the essentials; a towel, water, sunscreen and his iPod. He was listening to Johnny Cash but decided to separate himself from his player, feeling isolated from the happy beach goers and was worried he looked like he was pushing into gothic territory. But the ocean sounded nice. The water was a beautiful aqua and you could see the fish swim through the waves as they reached their peak.

It was hard to wallow in the sun.

His view of the surfers battling over the next wave was suddenly blocked by long deeply tanned legs. A shadow was casted over him and a look over his sunglasses revealed Atem standing with hands on hips.

“Yugi?” He asked.

He towered over him, though Yugi knew they were really just the same height.

“Ah…”  Yugi shifted. “Yeah?”

Atem laughed. “I wasn’t sure” he said and plonked himself down in front of him.

Yugi did not like his forwardness.

“Prone to sunburn are we?”

“Is there something-

Atem scooted a little closer.

...you wanted?”

“I just saw you over here and thought I could keep you company”

Yugi couldn’t see his intent hidden behind a pair of blacked out shades.

They had only ever ran into each other whenever Yugi had to venture to the harbour to either see his Grandpa or order their dinner. He tended to avoid the area even though he wanted to further explore it. He the reason he did so sat uncomfortably close.

“Your sunglasses are pretty cool” Atem said.

Yugi touched them lightly and took them off to look himself. The arm was loose and there were many scratches on the lenses but he hadn’t the heart to throw them away.

“Thanks. I’ve had them for a while”

“I can see they have been loved”

Yugi slid them back on. Not being able to see Atem’s eyes bothered him more than he thought.

“I saw you listening to something before. You tend to always have your mp3 with you, huh”

“Ah yeah I guess”

He hadn’t heard someone say mp3 in a while.

“What do you have on there?”

Yugi’s hackle stood up as Atems hands reached toward the shiny back of his iPod peeking out from his bag.

“It’s like I’m holding a brick!” He said as he turned it in his hands.

“Mhm” Yugi plucked it from his fingers.

Moving up on his knees, Atem shuffled to be more beside him.

“Can we listen?”

Music equaled less talking.

“Sure.”

Yugi untangled the long white cord and offered the left bud to Atem who had it in his ear just as quickly. He played it on shuffle knowing it would take him far too long to decide on a song with Atem ready and waiting.

Janis Joplin’s “Me and Bobby McGee” began and Atem sat up straighter, pearly whites on display as he tapped his fingers against his legs.

There was something enchanting about the way Atem looked then. A spark of recognition and a glow of delight. He looked like he was exactly where he wanted to be. Yugi wanted to steal that feeling. Suck it up through a straw and emit nothing but contentment. Feeling a little uncomfortable with himself, Yugi shook his head.

Atem wasn’t so bad it seemed (when he wasn’t talking). Yugi smiled and continued to watch the waves.

The two had just about exhausted Yugi’s Janis Joplin content, exchanging looks and an odd nod here and there. Atem had even attempted to sing, jumping up on his feet and ripping the bud from his ear. Yugi wanted to bury himself in the sand.

Realising he hadn’t even gone for a swim in all the time he had been there, Yugi thought about asking Atem to go with him who was leaning back on his hands absorbing all sunlight into his chest.

“Atem!” 

It was Joseph. He was stumbling down the sand dune toward them and Yugi he couldn’t avoid him this time. Staying hidden from Joseph became almost a daily ritual. He’d always pass by the cafe whenever Yugi got his coffee.

Atem didn’t budge.

Joseph came to crouch in front of him and gently shook his shoulder.

“Atem, buddy. Seriously.” He sounded exasperated.

Yugi turned his iPod off.

That seemed to work because Atem sat up and whined. “Aw you stopped playing it”

“Atem.”

“Yugi play something else”

It was only then that Joseph noticed him. His eyes widened and he seemed torn in two.

“I was wondering when I’d catch you, Yugi Muto”

“Hey Joseph”

Looking between the two Joseph sighed. “I definitely want to stay and catch up but ah,” he shook his head. “I got to take Atem home.”

“That’s okay”

He got Atem on his feet with no help from the other who just seemed annoyed by the change in events. Yugi felt like maybe he should have assisted but he didn’t know entirely why.

“Yugi, go fishing with me?” Atem asked before being dragged away.

Yugi just stared at him.

“Come with me and Solomon”

He really did not want to.

“Okay”

With a smile Atem leaned into Joseph and allowed him to take him home. Joseph's arm was wrapped tightly around the others waist and with his free hand flashed Yugi a wave as they headed off, struggling up the sand dune. Yugi watched until they were out of sight.

Deciding he better get at least one dip in the water before heading home himself, Yugi walked to the ocean trying not to look too alone.

He felt like everyone was staring, his bare legs on display, and pulled down on his rashie. Trudging on he hit the water with a shiver. He fought against the current, persistent to reach where his toes could barely touch the bottom. When the water reached his middle he shrieked under his breath.

He pushed and jumped and stood his ground until he began to successfully tread. Here each wave was nothing more than a smooth rise before breaking to the beach.

He rolled onto his back and surrendered himself to the rise and fall of the ocean. His hair spread like fire and moved like its own sea creature. He felt peaceful. Perhaps for the first time since he arrived. He was always this way once he got himself in the water. Never wanted to leave. Staying until he was wrinkled like a prune.

He couldn’t hear the herd of voices around him but instead white noise, and the taste salt on his lips was tantalising. Maybe he could do this more. It would keep him busy, he thought. Develop a tan even. 

He swallowed water at the absurdity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading x
> 
> Songs for the road:  
> "Me and Bobby McGee" Janis Joplin


	4. Chapter 4

 

They didn’t go fishing. 

Yugi regretted it. As much as he did not want to go. But his Grandpa had been excited to share something of himself with Yugi. He had refused and refused and refused. Wanting to be alone. Wanting to be gone. Wanted to be home. Solomon gave up.

He scrubbed at his face over a mint green sink in the bathroom. It was spacious but outdated with walls painted a dull light blue. The basin stood on it’s own and you could see the piping underneath it leading into the floor. Yugi was too exhausted to shower today. He needed to wash his hair but he didn’t think he could raise his arms for that long.

The prominence of his jaw was now bothering him ever since his Grandfather had noted how thin his face had gotten. His fingers lingered with each touch while he washed. He really hadn’t noticed.

He thought of what else could be different and considered himself in the mirror. Things seemed the same. Overwhelming unsatisfactory.

Beginning to feel a little sick as his eyes lingered on his stomach, he patted his face dry and got ready to leave.

The sand was so white hot that Yugi had to sprint to each shaded patch, cursing with every step of his bare feet. He found a spot shaded by a banksia and laid out his towel before getting comfortable. He wriggled his butt to form a  groove and leant back on his hands. 

People swarmed the beach. Many were crowded in the area between the flags. Parents were sleeping, passing on responsibility to the lifeguards who were diligently watching. Yugi thought that was just bad parenting.

Sweat ran down the curve in his back making his shirt stick to him uncomfortably and he wanted to peel it off. Just as he was building the courage an attractive torso passed by and that was that. The shirt stayed on.

His mother had answered his text. Yugi had not heard from her since he left. He held his phone like a jewel. A simple “I miss you too” and a “how are you” made his heart soar. He answered back just as quickly as it was received.

“Yugi Muto” 

Joseph stood tall with blonde hair (definitely in need of a cut) whipping in the wind.

“Joseph” Yugi replied. He wanted to sink into the sand and hide. He wasn’t in the mood for him right now. He glanced at his phone.

Joseph let out a soft breath and sat himself beside Yugi.

“Sorry about before”

Yugi looked at him.

“I mean Atem. That time” Joseph said. “I did want to stay and chat but”

“Had some babysitting to do, did you?”

Joseph laughed. “Something like that. He can get a bit, uh, unpredictable. At times”

Yugi thought that was a funny thing to say but really didn’t care to ask more.

“How have you been?” Yugi asked. “You living here now?”

Yugi turned his phone over in his hands repeatedly.

“Yeah man. I moved here as soon as we finished school. Just been working at the co-op. I just serve and stuff and cook the food sometimes.”

That explained the sloppy handwriting on the sign. 

“I haven’t seen you in there” Yugi noted.

“You must just miss me”

Yugi hummed. Still no text.

“So what brings you down to Domino. To see your Gramps?”

“Yeah. Haven’t seen him for a while, so” Yugi lied.

“Aw well that’s nice of you. I’m sure he is very happy to have you around”

Yugi remembered the sad look in his Grandfather's eye and the worry in his lines when he had spied on Yugi in bed, thinking he was asleep.

“Yeah it’s been good.”

Joseph and Yugi were never really friends. They were more like acquaintances. Joseph was always friendly, the kind of person who got along with everyone. He was the kind of person Yugi could feel overwhelmed by. But sitting here with him now he seemed different. Quieter. Like he had been fighting a war he can’t seem to win.

He shouldn’t have been avoiding him this long, Yugi thought.

“Wanna swim?”

Yugi checked his phone one more time and, deflated, put it back in his bag.

“Sure”

Yugi reluctantly took Joseph’s extended hand and was pulled onto his feet. They headed down toward the water when Joseph stopped.

“Your shirt” he pointed out with a smile.

“Oh”

Not planning on swimming today, Yugi didn’t bring his rash shirt. He hesitated at the hem. 

“I was just gonna wear it” he shrugged. “I burn easy”

Joseph laughed. “Okay, man”

Dodging kids on their boogie boards they pushed through the water. Once the water reached his waist, Joseph dropped to his knees and dunked his head under. Yugi bounced past on his tiptoes as he became buoyant and dropped under the wave looming at them. 

Joseph shook his hair wildly and boasted a huge grin.

“I missed this, I think.” Yugi said as he floated on his back. “The beach.”

“You need it, I reckon” Joseph moved closer to Yugi. “People forget to reconnect with nature. Nothing easier than just getting into the ocean to do that”

“It is peaceful despite the… everyone else”

“You’re a part of everyone”

“What?”

Joseph suddenly had his arms around Yugi’s waist making the smaller boy shriek and swallow water as he was hurled up and thrown back into the sea.

“Oh my god” Yugi said as he coughed. 

Joseph found it all very amusing as he laugh hysterically. “It was like throwing a fish!”

Yugi splashed at the freckled face teasing him with vigor.

“A fish?!” Yugi gaped, much like the creature he was being compared to.

Joseph dived under the next wave and swam away. Yugi was dumped by it.

They mucked around in the water for what seemed like hours. When they had been officially diagnosed as prunes by Joseph they decided to head in.

Dripping wet beneath his towel, Yugi walked back toward his regular cafe for lunch, Joseph in tow.

“You come here a lot, yeah?” Joseph asked. “I see you inside on my way to work most of the time”

“Yeah the coffee is nice here” Yugi said. “Could you do me a favour?”

Joseph stopped in front of the entrance.

“Go in and order for me? I’m still soaked”

“I don’t see why you can’t just take your shirt off”

Yugi rolled his eyes. “Please?”

“Okay, fine”

Yugi slapped his card into Joseph’s hand and told him what to buy.

While he waited, Yugi took a seat at a table in the sun and closed his eyes enjoying the rays seeping into his skin. He felt like a lizard recharging. 

Soon his food appeared before him. A cappuccino and a piece of sourdough toast with a fine coating of vegemite. Joseph scoffed at the lunch and produced his own toasted sandwich packed with cheese, tomato and ham with a side of hot chips.

They ate with small chatter, organising another hang out with Atem in tow by Joseph’s insistence, and Yugi relished each bite of his toast. It was going to be a while until dinner.

He was told of a place he hadn’t been to. A cliff. It was beautiful, Joseph said. A wonder of the world. 

“Where is it then?” Yugi said becoming a little annoyed.

“Secret” Joseph said, putting an index finger to his lips. 

Yugi licked the remaining vegemite off his teeth. “Uh huh”

“Trust me, Yugi”

Yugi did but he didn’t want to admit it.

“We’ll go. You, Atem and I” Joseph promised. “What’s your number?”

Yugi gave his details and added Joseph to his contacts in turn.

“I’ll text you” he said as he stood up. “I gotta go home and prep for work”

They said their goodbyes and Yugi was a little more than curious at this supposed ‘wonder of the world’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading x


	5. Chapter 5

“ _ Are you over it yet? I don’t want you fainting when you’re here _ ”

Yugi had been so excited when his mother had messaged him and had eagerly awaited her next reply.

His heart broke.

He had been in Domino for only a short while and she just expected…

He couldn’t. He just can’t. 

Hot wet tears pooled at his eyes and he tried blinking them away.

He doesn’t know how.

“Yugi?” 

Solomon stood at his bedroom door, hand on the handle. He wore a pair of worn out blue and white striped board shorts that came to his knee with a white polo.

The sight of love in his Grandpa's eyes made it all spill over.

Yugi brought his knees to his chest and cried. He threw his phone to the end of his bed and Solomon sat himself down and read the message.

“I don’t know what she expects, Grandpa” Yugi sobbed.

“It’s not an easy thing to see someone you love be so ill” 

“But I’m not!” 

“Yugi..”

“Everyone,” Yugi flailed his arms “you’re all just overreacting”

“Have you been eating?”

“Yes”

“Enough?”

No.

“Yes”

Solomon sighed and gestured Yugi over for a hug. Yugi wriggled down the bed and fell into the arms open and waiting.

They stayed like that for a while, Yugi listening to the steady beating of his Grandpa's heart until the tears stopped.

“Why don’t you come with me today?” 

Solomon wasn’t really asking.

Yugi nodded against his chest.

“Okay then. Up you get”

“I need a shower”

“Well okay just be quick about it”

Solomon left and Yugi psyched himself up.

Hopping into the bath was annoying. He hated bath showers and was always petrified that he would lose his balance and slip when he would climb out. 

The water was boiling just how he liked it and he began soaping himself up all over. He left his hair for last. Holding his arms up while he scrubbed at his scalp was tough. He had a lot of hair and his heart was pounding quickly in his ear. Yugi had to periodically let his arms rest before attempting to finish the task. He felt exhausted and had to sit on the edge of the bathtub to allow his heart to settle back to a reasonable pace. He cursed his hair and considered just shaving it off.

Wrapping his towel over his shoulders he sat on the bath mat under the heat light since he felt a bit light headed. He knew his Grandpa was waiting and he wasn’t exactly being “quick” but he hadn’t washed his hair for a week and it felt like the beach which is nice for the first couple of days but soon turns into a matted disaster.

He knew in his bones there was something wrong. How obsessive he was when he ate and how much. And those nights where he hated himself so deeply he thought it didn’t matter and binged on copious amounts of chocolate and chips. A whole toblerone gone in minutes. An entire chocolate mud cake until he was withering on the floor in agony. 

It was unsettling.

His mother cried and screamed and didn’t understand. How could he do this to her. He drove her to drink, she said. I don’t have time for this drama, she said.

He was being so unfair.

She couldn’t take the stress anymore.

Exhaling the memory away, he slowly stood back up and patted himself down, tied his hair back, and threw on his three quarter length sky blue jeans with a plain white shirt. 

As soon as they pulled up at the harbour, Jogging toward the ute was an irritatingly beautifully tanned young man with a toothy grin. Hands slapped down on the window sill of the car and Atem leant inside to look past Solomon and smile at Yugi in delight.

“How are you, Yugi” Atem's warm voice greeted.

“Could be better” he said honestly.

The smile disappeared and a softness came across Atems face.

“And how are you, Solomon”

“Good, my boy. Very good. Now scoot so I can get out” 

Atem stepped back and let Solomon exit the car.

“I keep telling you we’re fine over here. No help needed” Atem said with a light playful sigh.

“And I keep telling you I need to be kept busy!” Solomon retorted. “Just because I’m no longer out there catching big fish doesn’t mean I’m not of anymore use”

Yugi quietly walked away from the two to find somewhere to settle down. He had a coffee in hand which he got on the way. Solomon wanted to buy him breakfast as well but he refused. He wasn’t allowed yet.

“Beautiful day today, huh” 

Atems voice crept up behind him. He took a seat next to Yugi who found a spot on the wharf to stare at the water.

There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the air was crisp and salty. 

“I suppose so”

Atem pulled off his thongs and placed them next to his lap before swinging his legs over the edge. His toes just scraped the top of the water causing a light disturbance. His hair was messy from the wind and Yugi could see sand settled in there.

Finishing his coffee, Yugi placed the empty cup on the wooden planks with his shoes before shuffling to the edge of the wharf to hang his legs over with Atem.

Atem had a gentle smile as he looked over Yugi.

“So I know you obviously like Janis Joplin” he stated.

Yugi nodded. “She’s sick”

Atem laughed. “Well who else do you like?”

“I like a lot of things”

“Last song you listened to then” 

Yugi started to feel a little shy under Atems gaze. 

“Uh” Yugi was rubbing at his arm. “I think it was Call Your Mother. Uh, Johnny Cash”

Atem kicked his legs and nodded fervently. “Johnny Cash is the man”

“What about you?” asked Yugi. “Last song”

“I Live Off You. X-Ray Spex”

Yugi shook his head. “Don’t know ‘em”

“Well I then must insist that you come by and allow me to show you”

And before Yugi could answer Atem had suddenly stood up and took a large step forward and allowed himself to fall into the water below. Yugi squeaked in shock and jumped up in a panic. Atem resurfaced, whipping his hair off his face. 

“Jesus Christ, Atem” Yugi placed his hand over his chest in surprise.

“What is that boy doing now?” Solomon had paced his way over upon hearing the splash. 

Atem was laughing to himself as he swam over to the ladder that led down into the water form the wharf. 

“Atem you know that’s a very dangerous thing to do. Are you trying to break your leg? You can’t see how deep that is” Solomon said, exasperated.

With a shake of his hair Atem replied “the water just looked too good.”

He winked at Yugi who stood up straight after being caught gaping at Atems idiocy.

“Last time it was off the cliff face” Solomon ranted on. “What have you had?”

Atem patted the old man's shoulder and assured him “nothing, nothing”

“You best keep your eye on him for me, okay Yugi?” 

“Uh…”

Yugi didn’t sign up for that but Solomon was already walking away. 

“Well I don’t have a towel. So I’m going to spin by my house. Come with?” Atem said as he peeled off his soaking singlet. “I’ll play you some good tunes”

Yugi found he couldn’t really say no especially after being abandoned by his Grandpa. He suspected this stunt was on purpose.

“Sure” He replied, defeated.

Atem’s unit smelt of alcohol. It was the first thing he noticed. A smell that seemed to be trapped in the walls, the floor and any other fibres it could dig its way into. A bare living area with just the things you needed to fill empty spaces. It reminded Yugi of a hotel room.

Standing in the doorway, Yugi watched as Atem dug his way through a pile of clothes on a lounge coloured a terrible mustard.

“Can I use your bathroom” Yugi spluttered as Atem decided to undress.

“Of course. Just through there” Atem smiled, pulling a questionably clean shirt over his head after he sniffed it a few times.

Yugi shuffled through the living room toward the bathroom. His eye caught the scale tucked under a cupboard immediately. His mouth went dry.

He hadn’t weighed himself since he came to Domino which was good, he thought. Maybe. He wasn’t sure. He never seemed to be sure.

Giving in he quickly shed all clothing and pulled it out hungrily. Taking a deep breath and exhaling all air, like it would make a difference, he stepped on.

A female voice with a strong british accent floated under the crack of the door. It was sweet then loud and guttural.  And Yugi wanted to scream with her.

Dressed and depressed, Yugi re entered the lounge room to spot Atem pretending to play the sax and killing it, apparently.

And for a moment the absolute guilt handed to him like a gift wavered and he laughed.

“This song,” Atem yelled. The music was way too loud for a quiet community of units. “This is  _ my  _ song”

He had wanted to run home.

“This most certainly is your song” Yugi agreed, nodding along with the music. The urge to jump, to scream, to kick and dance. It had him. Maybe it could be his song too.

Bound to the scale. Bound to food, fear and guilt.

Up yours. 

But it never seemed to last, that feeling of empowerment. It grows and changes like a curse. Once a beautiful thing turned ugly, gruesome. 

Yugi sat in his bed on top of his sheets surrounded by chocolates and potato chips bought on the way home from Atem’s house. He ate in silence and with no appreciation. His stomach bloated and he felt sick but he had not finished. It all had to go.

It was something Yugi always struggled with. The inability to stop once he started. Once opened it had to be gone. Completely. So it wouldn’t haunt him.

Yugi felt like a failure. He could do nothing right. He thought at least maybe he could be good at this, to become so small he would just disappear. Fall silently like a flower and rot. What is a body anyway?  A means to exist and move about? He wasn’t even enough for his own mother to love him.

But no. Not even something as simple as food could he be successful.

Yugi cried, chewing on his chocolate. “I hung my head” played beside him quietly through his headphones. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for the road:
> 
> "Oh Bondage, Up Yours!" X-Ray Spex
> 
> "I hung my head" Johnny Cash


	6. Chapter 6

Shirts were off and hair whipped in the wind as the two boys in the front of the car joked amongst themselves. Yugi all the while curled into a ball in the back seated behind Atem, Joseph was driving, and tried to listen to the music under all the laughter.

Joseph's car was an old Ford Falcon. It was beaten and uncared for and Yugi likened it to his own body. After a while you just begin to stop getting services done. You don’t change the tires or check the oil. A light comes on but you ignore it. And now it just isn’t running like it use to.

The car was parked by the lighthouse. The boys all hopped out and grabbed their bags. Yugi was a little slow, admiring the view from the top of the hill. Thinking this is what Joseph was talking about he became a bit disappointed. Of course he knew about the lighthouse.

“Come on Yugi” Joseph called as he disappeared behind some bushes.

Atem stood at the edge waiting patiently for Yugi to catch up. His hand was a little out and Yugi felt tempted to hold it.

Branches snapped under their feet as they walked along a path made clear by someone before them.

It was dense bush with sandy dirt. Yugi walked carefully, close behind the boys and tried to avoid as many spiderwebs as he could. He felt wary only wearing a pair of thongs on his feet.

Atem’s back was a comforting wall in front of him. He moved confidently like he had been here many times before. Yugi knew if he was left alone he would find himself utterly lost.

They soon came to a fork  in the road. A path led straight in front of them to a cliff edge that was still a ways away. It stretched like it would go on forever, over the cliff, through the sky and toward the end of the world. Then Joseph turned left, following into more bush which annoyed Yugi. He didn’t feel safe from creepy crawlies at all.

“Want me to carry your bag?” Atem asked.

“What?” Yugi blinked. “No, I’m good”

“Oh, okay”

They kept on.

Like a curtain being opened, a beautiful sun shone in their eyes and revealed a ledge that ran out like a runway toward glistening water which lay far below. 

“Wow” Yugi found himself saying.

“Welcome to Serenity” Joseph grinned, arms spread wide above his head. 

“So you’ve named it?” Yugi teased, continuing to walk along it with Atem stuck to his side.

“It’s named after his-” Atem began before being cut off.

“Another time, another time. For now lets just relax, huh?” Joseph said.

 

As they all laid out their towels and sat on the edge admiring the view, Yugi noticed what seemed like naturally formed stairs leading to a secluded beach to their right. 

“Have you guys ever gone done there?” Yugi pointed.

“Of course, all the time” answered Joseph.

“It’s like a secret place to swim. No tourists” Atem sighed with a relief. Yugi sympathised.

“Why you wanna swim?” Joseph nudged Yugi’s ribs playfully.

“No no, just asking” 

Atem stood up and began making his way down the rocky staircase.

“Wait up, mate” Joseph called and jogged over to make his way down behind him.

Yugi sighed and followed suit. He hugged the cliff as he climbed down. Not nearly as confident as the two before him.

“I can catch you if you fall, Yugi” Atem shouted, already on the sand.

“That’s reassuring” Yugi mumbled to himself.

When his toes dug into the soft white sand Yugi felt relieved and promptly sat on his arse.

Atem laughed. “It wasn’t that bad, Yugi”

“It’s not very user friendly I suppose” Joseph said.

Atem and Joseph pulled each other into the water while Yugi relaxed in the sand. He was contented to just watch the other boys make fools of themselves. The sun was hot but the breeze was cool and Yugi tried to forget everything else, like the fact that his mother was no longer messaging him, and just be in the moment.

Never expecting to have company a part from his Grandpa during his stay in Domino, he felt glad for Atem and Joseph, or well,  _ Joey,  _ as now insisted by him. He felt a little lighter, a little less consumed by himself.

Wondering why Yugi and Joey were never really friends in school when it seemed so easy now was a recurring thought. And he pondered his relationship with Atem. They seemed very close.

Yugi and Atem made eye contact and Atem smiled, beginning to walk back to shore but then was abruptly tripped over by Joey.

“Later, Atem!” Joey cackled as he ran toward Yugi.

Yugi couldn’t suppress his laugher as Atem brought himself back up looking miserable.

Panting, Joey suggested they head back up to Serenity to watch the sunset. Yugi dreaded the climb but felt safer knowing Atem was behind him the whole way.

Prawns were brought out of Yugi’s bag, still cold from the ice pack he had thrown in there.

“Courtesy of Grandpa. Already shelled so dig in.” 

The sunset Yugi witnessed seemed to be otherworldly. Embraced by the warmth in the sky he felt a love for life he hadn’t felt in a long time. He even ate with them and didn’t think too much of it.

Oh what song could he have listened to in this moment. What could be fitting, how could he grasp this feeling once more in bed late at night when everything seemed too much.

Atems fingers brushed against his and if it was by accident Yugi wasn’t sure but he didn’t move his hand and nor did Atem.

Following the path back into the bush, Joey halted and put his arm out. “Stop, stop, stop”

“What?” Yugi stood on his toes peeking over Atems shoulder.

“Ah I see it” Atem said, then looked back at Yugi. “Brown snake”

Yugi’s eyes widened in a panic. “Where is it? I can’t see it”

“I can see it’s tail. It’s pretty long. The head is in the bush” Joey said camly. “Relax Yugi. We have to go around it”

“I’m not going around it. It’ll be spooked. It’ll bite me” Yugi snapped.

“It’s okay, really. I mean, we just need to be careful. We’ll go right around. It’s fine” Atem tried to reassure him.

“You guys are way too chill about this” Yugi grumbled.

Joey stepped out wide and slowly made his way around. The snake didn’t move. Atem was next. 

“Come on” Atem gestured for Yugi.

Holding his breath Yugi prayed as he made his way around, the whole time staring at the snake with wide eyes.

“Okay let's go before he wants to move” Joey said.

“You didn’t say snakes were involved today, Joey” Yugi was not impressed.

“Yugi. It’s the bush” he said matter of factly. “Did Serenity make up for it though?”

“..yes” Yugi admitted.

“There you go”

Atem pulled Yugi’s bag off his shoulder and jogged ahead before Yugi could protest.

Yugi was dropped off at home first and let his shoulders relax as the falcon revved back down the driveway.

Atem was quieter today, Yugi thought to himself as he lay in bed. He always seemed to be buzzed with energy but today was slow and careful. He kind of liked it.

“I am blade in a lawn that’s new, covered in dew, waiting on you. I need no shade, I’m tried and true but I’m lonely like you. I’m growing on you” The Story So Far flowing through his ears. Yugi tried to recapture the sunset but this was close enough. He felt warm and light like he was floating through the ocean and could still taste the salt on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for the road:
> 
> "Growing on you" The Story So Far
> 
> \--  
> I apologise for the slow moving story. It's mainly something I'm writing just to write and vent a bit.


	7. Chapter 7

It was Christmas eve and Yugi and Solomon were invited to have a bonfire with Joey and Atem. Knowing that the beaches were going to be littered with tourists, Solomon suggested they have a fire in the backyard. Something a bit more intimate. Yugi preferred that. They definitely had the space and he hadn’t sat by a fire since he was in Year 11 during a school reflection camp.

Without helping it, Yugi asked why they weren’t going to be with their families for Christmas. Atem was quiet but Joey filled the silence explaining he lived on his own, having nothing to do with his father and his mother left a long time ago.

Yugi felt guilty for inquiring.

Knowing there would be lots of food that evening, Yugi made sure to have an empty stomach to compensate. He needed to be normal and eat with everyone.

Solomon and Yugi drove into town to buy food for the night. Feeling like a puppy, Yugi followed Solomon through the aisles and obediently carried the basket which grew heavier and heavier. He wished they had gotten a trolley. His arms weren’t built for this, a pout on his face with every item dropped in.

Always asked “What do you think, how about this?” and Yugi never had an answer. When Yugi was home he would often spend a good hour walking through supermarkets trying to decide, always leaving empty handed. Once he got into a rhythm of eating certain foods things became easier but when they weren’t available he was lost, back to wandering like a ghost, confused and hungry. So he let his Grandpa decide on everything.

Yugi felt a heavy dread whenever a bag of chocolate was dropped in the basket. Was his Grandpa trying to sabotage him? He knew surely. He knew that Yugi couldn’t control himself, his body always reaching for that sugar high, a quick boost of energy. All he could do, he decided, was to try and control himself.

Once home they got to work setting up the yard. They hung fairy lights in the trees, laid logs around the fire pit, and set up a table to spread the nibblies. It had been a muggy day and Yugi hoped it wouldn’t rain.

The familiar sound of the Falcon ran over the gravel on the driveway. Car doors slammed shut and Joey was ranting to Atem as they came around the side of the house to where Solomon and Yugi were. Atem looked a combination of sheepish and annoyed, a ridiculous expression on his face.

“Hello boys” Solomon called. He pushed his hands on his thighs, lifting himself up from a log and walked over.

The bickering ceased and the two returned the greeting excitedly. Joey dumped a bag of cherries on the table along with what looked like cheese and crackers. Yugi snorted. It seemed a bit fancy for Joey. What quickly followed was a case of something alcoholic from Atem.

“What’s that?” Solomon looked over at the case disapprovingly.

“It’s just some cider. I thought it would be nice”

“I already told him, Gramps”

“It’s Christmas!” Atem retorted. “Anyway where’s Yugi?”

“Hi” Yugi gave a little wave when their eyes met. He hadn’t moved from his log.

The sky had begun to darken and the lights in the trees were a soft yellow. Atem seemed to enjoy them as he walked over to Yugi.

“They look nice,” He sat down with a thump beside him “did you do that?”

Yugi gave a little hum in affirmation.

Atem jumped back up with a loud clap of his hands. “Let’s get this fire going!”

“I’ll be sorting that out, Atem. You just try and relax. Eat some food” Solomon stepped in, easing Atem back down next to Yugi. Yugi noticed a glint in Atem’s eyes and that his leg was jittering.

Joey threw a bag of chips at Atem’s head which bounced off and landed in his lap.

“Want anything, Yugi?” Joey called with a toothy grin.

“I’ll get something in a bit”

“Right-o” he said, dumping Atem’s drinks into an esky filled with ice provided by Solomon moments before.

The fire grew as Solomon attended to it. There was a smile on his ageing face as he looked back at Yugi and Yugi felt his heart grow.

Atem revealed a portable speaker and placed it between their feet and held out his hand. It was only small, a black plastic with two white speakers on either end. For some reason Yugi couldn’t imagine Atem ever owning one, but rather an old record player which Atem would listen to while he drank alone in his little unit. A little flustered, Yugi produced his iPod and handed it to Atem. It was inserted on the dock and played on shuffle. The sound was a little crackly but it added to the ambience.

As the fire blazed and the night carried on they all lent toward the flames. Indulgences of chocolate and marshmallows where had and cider was drank by all - except Yugi -  who knew his empty stomach would not tolerate it. But he did include himself in the other and found himself waiting before each piece until someone else helped themselves.

Savouring the taste of chocolate on his tongue he wondered what his mother was doing. Yugi imagined her curled up on the lounge, drinking her white tea and watching the news. She was relishing the solitude and was glad Yugi was not there to bother her with his problems. His heart quickened and his stomach twisted and as though he sensed it, Atem turned the volume up. This surprised Yugi and prompted him to change the song, not in the mood for the enveloping sound of Johnny Cash.

Joey and Solomon disappeared into the house with a hushed discussion, leaving Atem and Yugi to the music and the flames. Yugi spat cherry seeds into the fire and tried to ignore the pressure in his gut. The sounds of crackling leaves and the cries of cicadas where a harmony behind the music. He felt a loneliness he could not shake and could not understand as there was a strong body emitting nothing but calm and patience beside him.

He thought he was truly going to be alone when Atem stood, but relaxed when he only left to grab another bottle from the esky.

Atem returned to his seat next to Yugi and placed his drink between his legs, appearing very suave in his drunkenness. The warmth in his skin glowed by the amber flames and Yugi wasn’t sure if he felt jealous or love. And with that soft smile and those kind eyes tired from the alcohol, Atem kissed him. It wasn’t long enough, and it was more one sided than Yugi wanted, but it had him swooning.

Words got stuck in his throat while Atems’ breath lingered by his mouth smelling like sweet strawberry cider. He moved away with a calm expression and leant forward, resting his elbows on his thighs and reached for his drink.

Scared to disrupt this soft moment that had been created, Yugi pressed his lips tight together in silence. So instead of conversation they stayed in the night and watched the fire until it was nothing more than ash.

“Atem wants to go home” Joey said to Solomon who was trying to insist they spend the night.

“He can’t, Joseph. Look at him” Solomon gestured to a slumped body stretched over one of the logs, belly up and arms long behind him. Yugi was trying to hold his head up worried too much blood would flood his brain. Atem was only laughing. “And you can’t drive. You’ve had a drink or two”

“I know-”

“And wouldn’t it be better to be here, together. With people that love him?” Solomon asked quietly.

Joey sighed. “I hate imposing”

Yugi overhearing everything walked over. “Just stay”

“I’m staying” Atem suddenly piped up.

“Then it’s settled” Solomon clapped Joey on the back causing the younger to bend forward.

Atem was cocooned in a summer throw on the lounge and Joey on the floor atop a camping mattress not much thicker than a yoga matt. After making sure they were okay, Solomon and Yugi headed to their respective rooms.

“I love you, Yugi” Solomon said before Yugi could disappear behind his door.

“I love you too” he answer softly with a smile, looking over his shoulder.

Yugi couldn’t sit with his usual guilt as he lay in bed but was instead distracted by the soft pressure of lips that were against his. It was something he wanted. Atem was a wonderfully strange creature and only enticed the more you were around him.

He wondered what tomorrow will be as he drifted off to sleep. The window above his bed was open and a cooling breeze glided through tickling his nose. A frog could be heard in the distance as it found its way, possibly through a pipe, and into the house. The last thought Yugi had was the hope not to find this friend staring up at him in the toilet bowl come morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for the road:  
> "Out Among The Stars" Johnny Cash
> 
> Thank you for reading x


	8. Chapter 8

There was no sound of moving bodies that morning. Just the familiar hum of the fridge in the distance.

Yugi lay wide eyed in bed, the sheets sticking to his back. He wanted to spy on Joey and Atem to see if they were awake but didn’t want it to be weird. It seemed ridiculous. It was his house, well, kind of. Perhaps if he just got a glass of water, he thought.

Christmas morning was just never the same when you got older. There was no temptation to jump from your bed and no excitement to see what awaited you in the lounge room. Yugi huffed at how sad it seemed, this house on Christmas. An old man living his days on his own, a boy whose family seemed to have abandoned him, a loser who could do nothing right, and a mystery.

Yugi’s feet patted softly down the hall as he crept to the kitchen. As he rounded the corner he caught sight of a figure leaning against the bench and quickly jerked back to conceal himself.

“Yugi?” the voice was dry and raspy.

Yugi swore and moved back into the kitchen to see Atem. His hair was plastered to one side of his head and his usually bright eyes dull and tired. In contrast a soft smile presented itself as he croaked out “Merry Christmas”

“Merry Christmas”

Next to the tanned hand holding the bench was a half empty bottle of cider. Yugi wasn’t sure if that was from the night before or was Atem really drinking first thing in the morning?

“Thank you for having me for the night” Atem said.

“It was no problem to, ah” Yugi mumbled, “have you”

After the kiss Yugi wondered should things be different. He had honestly never been in this situation before.

The soft smile on Atem’s face grew twice as wide as he stood up straighter and moved in close to Yugi. “What’s on the agenda then this fine morning?”

His breath reeked and Yugi felt like gagging.

“You brushing your teeth” he blurted out.

Atem stood back in embarrassment and murmured an apology before laughing. “Good idea. I think I’ll go home and freshen up, actually”

Looking like he had a ‘light bulb’ moment, Atem sighed. “My ride is gone though”

“Your ride?” Yugi puzzled, “Joey’s gone?”

Joey was nowhere to be seen, only leaving behind the matt he had slept on rolled up neatly and against the lounge.

Atem joined Yugi and assessed the area. 

“He was not here when I woke up” Atem said. “He properly went to see Serenity”

“You mean he’s  _ gone _ to Serenity?”

“Ah, yeah. Well, I’m off then”

Yugi could only blink as Atem headed toward the front entrance of the house. It was so abrupt and it made Yugi uncomfortable.

“Don’t you want to find Joey?” He asked after Atem, trotting up behind him. It just seemed odd that Joey would leave without even a good-bye. 

Atem haltered and lolled his head in the others direction and said too casually, “I told you where he would be.” He opened the front door and stepped through. “I need to go home”

And that was that. Atem left leaving Yugi bewildered.

After clean clothes were thrown on and sneaker laces tied, Yugi headed out. He didn’t know why he cared so much and why Atem didn’t.

It took a good 40 minutes to walk to where the lighthouse sat perched on top of the tallest hill in Domino. Yugi’s heart thumped in his chest as he pushed himself to the top, thoughts of finding Joey momentarily surpassed by the idea of calories burning.

Domino was quiet, the roads abandoned. Families must be lazing inside their homes enjoying the morning. If only life were like this more often, where Yugi could feel like he was perhaps the last person on earth and the world belonged to him.

Detest of walking through the bush on his own bubbled through him and he prayed softly to the sea that he would not take a wrong turn. He walked on.

There Joey sat on the edge of Serenity with his long bare legs hanging over the cliff face, right where Yugi hoped he would be. Joey wore a bold yellow t-shirt far too big for his frame. The sun beamed from its bright fabric and Yugi mourned for his sunglasses.

“Hey Joey” Yugi greeted as he crouched down beside him. 

The wind howled loudly into Yugi’s ears and he almost missed Joey’s soft reply.

“Hey Yug.”

Licking his lips Yugi thought of what to say. “Can I ask you something?” 

Suddenly Joey’s early exit meant very little to Yugi. He was enticed by something else.

At this Joey sat up a little straighter. “Yeah, man”

“Why” Yugi paused. “What is it about, about this place here”

“What do you mean?” Confusion and then a doleful look passed over Joeys face.

“Why do you stay here? In Domino, I mean”

Joey faced the ocean and picking up a small stone threw it as far as he could.

“This is where we were together, initially. Before my family broke up,” Joey sighed “Mum, Dad, Serenity and me”

Knowing what Yugi was to ask, Joey continued “Serenity is my sister. Younger. This is about as close as I can get to her without being with her physically. She loved this place”

Joey swallowed thickly, “Dad and I were made to leave and they stayed. I thought if I came back once I finished school - but they were gone”

“Where are they now?” Yugi asked carefully.

“Mum and Serenity are on the other side of the country. Dad? I couldn’t care less where he is” He almost spat the last part. 

Yugi had never seen Joey look like that for as long as he had known him. His body was hunched and tense, and he emitted a negativity that could burn you.

That was enough, they both mutually agreed in silence. Yugi hung his legs over the edge mimicking Joey and leant back on his arms. Seagulls squawking loudly flew by toward the more populated beach hoping for a meal and Yugi’s own stomach grumbled at the thought.

They both wound up on their backs staring at the sky, a perfect baby blue, and Yugi wished better for Joey. He deserved it. From what he could tell he looked out for others so much more than he looked out for himself. 

Atem. What was wrong with him?

Yugi rolled onto his side facing the body next to him. He wanted to ask Joey about it but how could he burden the boy who had so much inside him in that moment.

They left the Serenity together and Joey fired up the Falcon. The front floor was filled with empty water bottles and packaging off various food items. 

“Am I taking you home?”

“Actually,” Yugi said, “Could you drop me off at Atem’s place?”

“Sure” Joey shrugged. 

He drove slowly through the town not wanting to alert any officers on Christmas day. Joey really couldn’t afford a ticket, he had said.

Yugi wriggled in his seat as they pulled up out the front of the unit block. Yugi hopped out of the car and gave Joey his best smile in thanks and watched as the Falcon went on it’s way.

A knock on his door and a call of his name led to hurried noises and the obvious sound of bottles clinking against one another. Atem appeared, looking a little flustered and surprised, but happy, to see Yugi.

A rush of something else he wasn’t familiar with filled up Yugi's body from his toes to his head.

“There he is” Atem said like he was expecting him.

With a wobble in his step, Atem led Yugi into his living room. Although clumsy in every other aspect, the grip he had on Yugi’s hand was as strong as a life line. Yugi wondered as he stared at the crinkle of Atems eyes, if the warmth in his belly felt just the alcohol that flowed through the other.

After his hand was released, Yugi wiped the sweat on his jeans and approached the couch which was littered with cds. Moving like he was saving a glass about to fall, Atem grabbed him.

“No,” He said with a wobbly smile, “You gotta, you got to wait here.” 

“Oh”

Yugi watched uncomfortably as Atem riffled through the cds. He wanted to save the poor discs from their tormentor, kiss their scratches away, and place them securely in a box or case.

Suddenly a familiar riff began to play. Atem stood next to his stereo and rose up onto the balls of his feet like he was taking a deep breath. He suddenly spun around with a huge shit eating grin and Yugi's stomach flipped.

The trumpet belted out soulfully as Atem sauntered over.

“What are you doing?” Yugi asked with a small smile, taking a step back.

Atem tilted his head, that ridiculous look on his face never waiving, and lifted his arms trying to coax Yugi over.

“Dancing with you, hopefully”

“To Janis?” 

“It’s perfect”

Oh god it was. It was everything.

Yugi shly moved in closer and brushed his fingers against Atems. His partner laced their fingers together and stood almost flush to Yugi’s chest. Atem swirled them around with a laugh and begin an enthusiastic rocking to the rhythm. Back and forth, back and forth. Yugi could’ve burst.

Atems eyes were especially bright. A whirl of summer. Words poured out into Yugi’s ears like a poetic rumble, shaking him to the core.

He let himself go and sung back with exaggerated emotion. Pulling Atem side to side jerkily with each sharp beat.

“Oh god,” Atem said. “You sound terrible.”

Yugi gaped at him.

“I love it”

And with that Yugi laughed.

Maybe dear, oh just maybe things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for the road:  
> "Maybe" Janis Joplin
> 
> Thank you for reading xx


	9. Chapter 9

Curled in a ball on the floor of his bathroom, Yugi cried. 

He cried from the loss of control.

He cried from the pathetic nature of his body.

And he cried from the pain in his stomach.

He begged for his body to allow him to throw up. He could bare it, he swore. He could bare the additional pain, he swore. Just please, he sobbed, let this pass.

It came upon him like a black dog, ravenous and desperate. The door that he held shut opening for a moment, the beast barging through and dominating its new territory.

Yugi had given in. The trip to the supermarket he couldn’t even remember left no change in his wallet but rather arms dented from the weight of plastic bags.

The house was humid and dark and without even turning on the lights he sat on the kitchen floor and ate. It was a fluid motion of hand to mouth, hand to mouth. Eyes fogged and a sense of nothing clouded his brain. The only sound to be heard was the rustling of plastic and foil, the hum of the fridge, and soft continuous chewing. 

The tiles in the bathroom were cool at least.

Throwing up was something Yugi just couldn’t make himself do. He tried sending an index finger to the back of his throat but gagged and couldn’t go through with it.

So it was that he were to suffer. This was fair, he begun to suppose as he withered in pain. He had done it to himself.

Solomon had tried coaxing Yugi from his bed numerous times over the space of a week. He stank, he knew, but even a shower seemed like climbing a mountain.   
So in bed he stayed, listening to his music and sleeping his life away. 

He tried to convince himself he needed this break. Spending time with Atem, and especially Joey, usually meant food. Eating. And it was just too hard. Bound by social conventions and a kind of permission made Yugi eat. It was embarrassing. And the guilt. Oh the guilt! He could not take it. Yugi wanted to dig a hole in the sand and bury himself within it hoping to decompose or be washed out to the sea.

It was easier on his own. It was easier if he was asleep.  
Solomon would buy him his daily coffee which he sorely missed if he was unable to have it. The warmth kept his belly full and he could go longer between meals.  
Sometimes he could hear his Grandpa crying late at night with a soft pray that things would change. But who would Yugi be if things were different? That scared him.

Yugi’s phone buzzed and it would be Joey checking up on him. He learnt to suppress the small hope that it would be his mother instead.

Then there was Atem who was a dream, unpredictable and ever changing. Some days the two of them would bake in the sun for hours on the beach (manic). Some days the two of them would lay on the floor of Atem’s unit listening to music (drunk). Yugi would drift in current of Atem.

Thoughts drifted to the scales located in Atem’s bathroom. 

Slowly Yugi moved himself out of bed, careful not to get dizzy, and threw on a large black jumper he snatched out of the bottom of his case. He could care less about the summer heat. 

“I’m heading out” Yugi called into the house.

Solomon sped into his room, a smile on his lips. “Are you seeing the boys?”

“Yeah”

“Oh good. They’ve been worried about you!” Solomon reached into his back pocket and produced his wallet, old and worn. “Do you need money?”  
“No, Grandpa.”

“Here is $50” Solomon pushed the note into Yugi’s hands. Yugi rolled his eyes but accepted the money.

“Thanks” Yugi headed out of his room. “I’ll be home later”

He was sweating in his jumper by the time he made it to Atems unit. He knocked on the door before testing the handle to see if it was unlocked. It was, unsurprisingly. He stepped his way inside.

“Atem?”

Dirty laundry covered the floor and the lounge, empty bottles scattered and the carpet seemed to be burnt.  
Yugi couldn’t see Atem anywhere. He walked to the bathroom and flipped the switch, ugly yellow light filling the room. Shedding his clothing, Yugi dragged out the scales and stepped on. 

“What’s the verdict?” 

Yugi jumped with a shriek before the numbers could settle and hurried for his clothes, his face flaming.   
Atem leant on the doorway, arms folded and eyes half open.

“Well?” A weird energy admitted from Atem’s body.

Yugi tried to find his words. Seeing Atem now made him suddenly aware of his state. His hair was flat and greasy. A film of oil coated his skin and he stank. Really bad. He hadn’t showered in a while, not even brushing his teeth.

“I, uh,” Yugi started, “I don’t- I don’t know”

“Are you okay?” Atem asked through a yawn.

“Yes” Yugi hurried. Maybe Atem hadn’t seen him.

“I didn’t hear you come in” Atem apologised. “I’ve been asleep”

Atem looked disheveled, swaying on his feet, chest bare and boxers too big low on his hips.

Yugi found himself in that moment and felt terrible for barging into Atems home.

“Please go back to bed. I’ll leave” Yugi said lowly.

Atem looked at him with sleep stuck eyes and turned on his heels and gestured with his hand for Yugi to follow.  
A double mattress lay in the corner of a surprisingly empty room. Yugi expected a reflection of the rest of the unit but came to the conclusion that Atem probably lived more out of this room than in it.   
The curtains were drawn and the beam of afternoon sunlight peeked through the seams giving the room a soft glow.

Atem dropped to the mattress and Yugi noted the small portable speaker parked next to it with a pink ipod and wondered where he got it from.  
Their eyes meet and Atem softly patted the space beside him. Yugi clambered next to Atem and lay flat on his back, staring at the ceiling.

“You’re hot”

“What?” Yugi squeaked, looking at Atem.

Hands grabbed and pulled at the hem of Yugi’s jumper. “Your face is red”

Yugi mumbled under his breath, “I haven’t showered”

“Oh” Atem folded his hands on his stomach. “That’s okay”

“It’s been,” Yugi swallowed, “a long week”

Atem barked out a laugh. “Yeah”

“Are you okay?” Yugi asked softly. It was something he had wondered for a while but where did he really stand asking such a question. Atem had asked it so simply earlier but Yugi felt like he was intruding. Was it fair? Atem never probed Yugi. Never asked why he hadn’t eaten, if he noticed.

Atem was quiet for a while. The weight of Yugi’s words grew heavy.

“Always” he eventually answered.

That did not ease Yugi's nerves.

“You’ve lost weight” Atem commented. His tone wasn’t accusing or concerned. Just observant. They have never discussed this before.

“You think so?” Yugi felt small and guilty but hopeful and confused.

Atem nodded. Silent.

“Do you…” Yugi was beginning to feel even hotter “Do you think that’s okay?”

Suddenly what Atem thought of him seemed extremely important.

Atem paused, shook his head then smiled. “It’s okay”

Yugi sat up and pulled the jumper over his head. His skin was sticky with sweat. He wiped his face with his jumper before putting it aside, hoping he rubbed off most of the oil. 

He wondered what Atem saw then. A mess probably. But the smile never wavered on the man's face when Yugi laid back down. It never wavered when he propped himself on one elbow and leant over the other. And it never wavered when he pressed their lips together, light and loving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for the road:  
> “Brothers &” The Wonder Years
> 
> Sorry for the belated, short update. Just getting back into the swing of things at this stage after life has been particularly difficult. 
> 
> Thanks for reading x


	10. Chapter 10

Atem wanted to go for a walk. He was wobbly on his feet but Yugi kept him stable as he held onto his sweaty hand. Humidity filled the night air and the paths were illuminated by street lights standing tall beside the road and Yugi enjoyed the slow paced walk toward the beach.

The wind picked up as they approached the sand. Atem released his hold of Yugi and stumbled down the dune with an enthusiasm of a toddler still figuring out how to walk. Clothes began to shed and Yugi sprinted after Atem with eyes full of worry and a panic in his heart. Just as Atems bare toes touched the water Yugi yanked him back causing them both to fall on their behinds in the wet sand.

Atem burst out laughing and nudged Yugi like it was a joke.

“Were you seriously trying to go for a swim just now?” Yugi spluttered.

Atem just stood back on his feet and looked back down on Yugi like he was contemplating something but then just adjusted himself in his boxers.

Waves crashed loudly behind them and the dark water seemed eriy and uncomfortable. Atem swayed on his feet with a distant look in his eyes, his fingers twitching by his side. The sudden change in mood was unusual and Yugi didn’t know what to do.

Atem had started drinking after they had kissed that night, much to Yugi’s concern. But after Atem saying that Yugi was okay the way he was, he tried to resist judgement. Everyone has their vices. Atem was okay too.

Breathing out, Yugi stood up and took Atem’s hands in his own.

“Hey,” Yugi smiled “Let’s go for a walk, huh?”

They walked in silence along the shoreline after collecting Atem’s clothing strewn about in sand.

“You break my heart, Yugi” Atem said suddenly, softly, and distant.

Yugi stopped walking.

“What?”

Atem looked on the verge of tears. He shook his head and grinned ear to ear. “I really want to go swimming”

“You can’t” Yugi said, still confused.

“I know”

Yugi felt that if he wasn’t here, Atem would wander right into that water, walk through the waves and swim out as far as his body could take him just to disappear. The thought terrified him and he shook from head to toe. The night air was making him crazy.

“Let’s go back” Yugi said.

Atem obeyed, dragging his feet behind Yugi as they walked but the way they came.

Yugi found himself wrapped in clothes, dirty or clean he didn’t know, and was engulfed by the scent of sweet cider mixed with the sea. This was soon overpowered by the fragrance of hot chips and fish.

Atem could be seen on the floor with Joseph munching on a particularly crunchy chip. His bare back faced Yugi as he sat cross legged, chattering away.

“Make sure to leave some for Yugi” Joseph had said.

Atem gave him a pointed look and a loud snap of his teeth as he playfully bit into a piece of fish.

“Whatever. I have to go back to work” Joseph stood up.

“No kiss goodbye?” Atem teased.

“I’m afraid not with that breath” he retorted. “Later”

“Thanks, Joey”

Joseph looked tired. Yugi hadn’t seen much of him lately. Perhaps he was working more. Atem was definitely working less.

His Grandpa had been glad for Yugi to be with Atem more, often asking after him. It had been a few weeks and Yugi hadn’t realised that Atem wasn’t working.

As the door closed, Atem spun around on his bottom to face Yugi and all but shoved a chip under his nose. Unable to feign sleep any longer, Yugi jerked back and rubbed the salt off his face with the back of his hand.

Atem had a smile that threatened to split his face in half.

“Good afternoon, young Yugi”

Yugi have a slight yawn and swished his hand in front of Atems face “why haven’t you been working?”

The face splitting grin didn’t move but his eyes changed. “I’ve been with you.”

“So you stopped working to hang out with me”

“Yes”

Something didn’t feel right.

“Even during that week I was, you know?”

“What does it matter?” Atem started to become irritable.

Yugi didn’t know why he felt like he had to keep pushing but he did.

“Were you working then?”

“No” Atem shrugged “Joey’s been covering for me”

Just as Yugi opened his mouth to ask why, Atem cut him off with a laugh that sounded forced from his gut. Short and annoyed.

“I just needed some time. We all need time, Yugi. God you went a week locked up in your room withering away to,” Atem’s face went hot, “to nothing.” Atems hand patted around him like it was searching for something.

Yugi felt sick. He thought it was okay. He said it was okay.

“I see” Yugi said, standing up. The clothes fell to the floor.

Atem stared wide eyed and hesitated each word wanting to escape his lips.

“Better not fucking look at me, I guess. Being such a sorry sight”

On the walk back home Yugi’s thoughts would not stop racing. Why would Atem lie to him. He felt so small and wanted to melt into the pavement. He wondered what Atem really thought of him all those times.

He kicked the gravel as he dragged his feet up the driveway then the loud crunching of footsteps came up behind him.

It was Atem panting and flushed, spotting an oversized singlet he would have just thrown on from the lounge.

He heard behind him a door closing and suddenly it made sense. Terrible, terrible sense.

“Did Grandpa get you to hang out with me?” Yugi’s eyes began to burn. “Did you just feel sorry for me, did you know from the start?” Yugi swallowed hard. “Did you even really like me?”

“I mean yeah your Grandpa pushed me toward you but it was never like that, Yugi. It was never about that. And I kissed you because I wanted to”

Yugi remembers the drinking and wants to bring it up. Wanted to remind him that he wasn’t perfect. He was beginning to feel desperate, like striking a match that refused to ignite. He wanted to scorch Atem, but the yearning for truth in his words was just as vicious.

Atem jumped back as Yugi vomited on the driveway. “Shit, Yugi” he gasped.

Face inflamed and heart racing, Yugi fled up the driveway.

The screen door banged against the house as Yugi made his way inside. Solomon stood flustered holding out a glass of water having seen Yugi throw up. Yugi snatched it from his old hands and swished the water in his mouth as he walked to the kitchen. He spat the water into the sink and drank the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for the road:  
> "Don't make me go" Johnny Cash
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone for commenting and leaving kudos. It really means a lot. I like writing to get a lot of my feelings out so this is really a vent thing for me. I'm sorry if it seems slow or short or just overall kinda shitty. But I'll keep going and keep trying!
> 
> xx thank again for reading


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